My life is hard, no question about it and sometimes I get stuck in this trap that no one would want to go through the hard with me or should have to go through the hard with me.
When I was younger I watched as the people I loved and cared about were afflicted with illness, tragedy, family issues and anything and everything that could go wrong. I watched as friends endured the aftermath of mental illness, impossible diagnoses and treatments, devastating natural disasters, the pain of families separated, the horror of children going through unspeakable tragedies and those were only the people I held dear, not to mention the stories I heard of people I didn’t even know. I knew from a very young age that this life is filled with pain, chaos and evil.
I’d be lying if I said that I don’t constantly want to shout out “Enough!” Not only enough of my pain, but enough of the pain that I bear witness to on a daily basis.
At some point in my life I decided that if I didn’t share my pain, then maybe it would hurt less or at least maybe it wouldn’t get the chance to hurt others. But, when you make a choice like that you don’t merely just start to hurt yourself, but you start to crush yourself.
I think we all need to realize that we aren’t the only ones with pain, with struggles, with hurt, with tragedy or with baggage. If you took a good look around, you would realize that we all carry with us our own carry-ons. I’m on a journey of realizing that my hurt does not/should not be what keeps me away from people, but instead should be the very thing that draws me closer to people.
Relationships are hard. People are hard. Life is hard. Hard does not mean unattainable.
What would this world be like if instead of hiding our pain, we shared our pain?
Wherever you are in your journey, in your struggle, I can promise you that someone has walked the road ahead of you and there is someone who is just starting out behind you.
What light do you still see at the beginning of your journey?…Go on and share that light with someone in the middle or end of theirs.
What would you tell yourself at the beginning of your journey?…Go on and tell someone who is at the beginning of theirs.
Trust someone who has hidden their baggage from those around her…The silence will break you, much quicker than the truth will break them.
Discouragement is easy to find and feel in this endeavor, but so is freedom and authenticity. I’ve experienced both, but I’d much rather experience freedom and authenticity in one or two solid relationships, then be surrounded by hundreds and still be wearing a mask.
Discouragement, fear, isolation and loneliness are no stranger to me, but I now refuse to let them stay for too long. Now I make the choice to be vulnerable and authentic in order to experience the freedom that is my reward.
After months of watching relationships/people disappoint me, this morning I woke up to breaths of fresh air as I danced in the freedom of being seen and loved admist all of my struggles.
The same freedom is waiting for you, will you take your mask off long enough for others to see you, all of you?
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